I think a lot of my anxiety stems from all the musculoskeletal injuries and conditions I’ve suffered with. I was born with bilateral pincer impingement in my hips, with associated labral tears. I know thats a mouthful haha. I just recently (7 months ago) underwent corrective surgery for my right hip which at the time had the most severe symptoms. I thought that I was recovering nicely, going through the motions, working my way to being 100% which i’ve NEVER been before. I was looking forward to FINALLY knowing what its like to not have pain when you walk/sit/stand/jump, you name it. But in the past month my hip health has gone so far downhill that i’m not sure if i’ll ever live without pain again. I have two midterms this week (monday and tuesday) and I can’t sit for long enough to study because my hamstrings seize, I get deep hip pain, and I have to stand and shake it off.
I just find it gets in the way of my daily living.. I mean i’ve just recently decided to get back on track with working out since my surgery and the moment I did, it was like my hip gave a big fuck you girl. It also makes sex sometimes quite uncomfortable and painful and I mean.. who wants that.. not me that’s for darn sure.
My boyfriend tells me I have to turn to God, that he has a plan for me and not to get discouraged. I try, I really do, I just feel like the past few years i’ve lost so much and it is one thing after the other that hits me. It’s hard not to lose some faith and courage in the midst of losing friends and family members at every turn, on top of dealing with health and body issues.