Well my first block of physical therapy is finished. I am one semester closer to being a physical therapist. Which is crazy. But it feels good. Some of the exams were extremely difficult and I wasn’t quite sure how well I did, but I got pretty well straight A’s which is a nice surprise.
The fact that I am 6 months into the program already is crazy to me. 2 years left to go and if this next semester goes by as quickly as the last one then it will be August before I know it. Which makes me extremely anxious and extremely happy at the same time.
I hate my life in Edmonton, I’m not happy there, It’s not my home. So I want to be finished this program as quickly as possible. But on the other hand I have no idea where i’ll be in 2 years, where Brendan will be, or where my life will take me, which is terrifying.
I guess I just have to keep chugging along and taking one week at a time and i’ll get there eventually. Hopefully intact. I just wish I were a stronger person. I wish I could make Edmonton my new home and embrace my new life. I wish I could embrace CHANGE in general, and be confident in myself and my ability to flourish under any circumstance.
I wish I could go into block 2 confident that I will do well, that I can tackle practical exams with more confidence and ease. But I’m me and that will never happen. I need to book counselling for when i’m back and I need to make it a priority. I need to hold myself to that promise and not break it for the millionth time.